I was sick and exhausted in the latter half of this week and I found that the only things I could mobilise were my thoughts. As the saying goes, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop" and my thoughts began to wander endlessly towards tabooed topics. Soon, I became "infatuated" ,in a way, with death. I contemplated its implications. What would happen after my death? What would resonate in the thoughts of people who knew me? Do I make a difference?
Essentially, what I was wondering about was quite selfish. Will I receive glory after death? Will people remember me? In Sailor, I could see the same ideals pop up. Noboru's idealisation of Ryuji eventually makes him kill him. In order to restore the former sailor to his past connection with the sea, death seems to be the only method. The last line is a testament to Ryuji's imminent rise to glory - "Glory, as anyone knows, is bitter stuff".
At the end, I decided it was much easier to embrace death rather than fear it. When I made this realisation, I suddenly felt more calm and relaxed. Accepting the natural circle of life set me at ease. If you remember my very 1st post, I said that Noboru creates the circle to feel infinitely more secure. The same concept applies to my case. Instead of stressing over death, it is healthier to accept it as it comes. A passive, accepting attitude is the best way to deal with these too often grand and intimidating ideals.
Essentially, what I was wondering about was quite selfish. Will I receive glory after death? Will people remember me? In Sailor, I could see the same ideals pop up. Noboru's idealisation of Ryuji eventually makes him kill him. In order to restore the former sailor to his past connection with the sea, death seems to be the only method. The last line is a testament to Ryuji's imminent rise to glory - "Glory, as anyone knows, is bitter stuff".
At the end, I decided it was much easier to embrace death rather than fear it. When I made this realisation, I suddenly felt more calm and relaxed. Accepting the natural circle of life set me at ease. If you remember my very 1st post, I said that Noboru creates the circle to feel infinitely more secure. The same concept applies to my case. Instead of stressing over death, it is healthier to accept it as it comes. A passive, accepting attitude is the best way to deal with these too often grand and intimidating ideals.
